Wow what a week

Hi There
Welcome to my little corner of blogworld.  Well it's Saturday night and I am kinda reviewing my week.  Lots happened.  I am kinda still reeling from some stuff.  Last Sunday I went with my kids to a family birthday party.  Miles hasn't met my family and may never because of last summer.  I wish he would but I understand his point of view.  Well I had noticed my face looking different, my  right eye didn't look right.  It appeared to droop.  My sister noticed it and asked about it. I told I noticed it the day before but didn't know what was up with it.  She talked to our older sister about it later on.  And Big sister called and ordered me to go see a doctor.  I had planned on it cause I was afraid it was some kind of stroke.  She has some issues so there is cause worry.  While she was on the phone I started asking about our mom.  Mom died when I was really little.  Big sister let on that Mom might not have had a heart attack.  Nobody knows for sure but there are clues it could have been an overdose.  Back then you had to ask for an autopsy.  Dad didn't want to know.  But I am floored never ever dawned on me.  Miles has been awesome helping me deal with this.  And it is tough.  Why would she choose to leave me and not see me grow up?  It really plays into my feelings of abandonment and that everyone eventually just walks away from me.  I know I have issues over this stuff.  How to deal and heal, I have no clue.  Please speak up if you know the answer or a suggestion.  I would really appreciate it.  So I go to the Dr the next day and my face problem is Bell's Palsy and I have a mild case that should heal up.  I got medicine and a follow up for a month from now.  Good news to me.  Today Miles and I go shopping and run errands.  I had a picture to get framed at our local craft store.  So while I was waiting on that I find a picture frame with a saying that Miles tells me.  I loved you yesterday and today I love you still  Always have and Always Will.  He says Always have Always Will.  I had to have it.  But it had spots for 4 pictures and I didn't know where I would put it.  So we found the saying in a decal form we can put on the wall.  Miles loved that I got so excited about this.  But it's us and means the world to me.  He makes me safe and secure.  I think I have been looking for it all my life.  I really freak out when I don't feel secure with our relationship.  I think it is why I want marriage.  The commitment is not easily broken.  He doesn't get why it's important to me.  But I have had so many people walk away from me.  I really never felt like I was where I belonged.  But this feels like home He  is my rock and always there for me.  No matter how hard I try to push him away some times.  I read on a blog about a wife pushing to see if her husband will push back and take control.  That really clicked with me.  I can see where I have pushed Miles button to see what he will do.  This morning I got really sassy and he mentioned not liking my smart mouth as we left the grocery store for the car.  I kinda walked ahead so he would watch my bottom and said Too bad you can't find a way to control me!  I was to far ahead to hear his reply.  So was it a clue?
Elle