Sorry I have been absent. Just didn't feel like I had anything to say worthwhile. I am feeling pulled in a million different directions at once. Everyone needs me all at the same time. And I can't catch a breath. I have tried to talk to Miles about it. But he takes it as me blaming him and that is not what I am trying to do. I just don't feel supported at all. At work I need to be in charge and at home I am always hearing what I need to do for somebody else. Yesterday I blew up at Miles. We had run a couple of errands and I got to fish while Miles enjoyed a beer. But I wound up sending him away from me cause he kept critizing me. I need to practice casting and it was my first of the year. But he kept asking if I wanted him to do it for me. That doesn't help me learn how to do it. I explained that nicely a few times. We were there for a couple of hours. As soon as we get home He asks me to straighten up my kitchen. Seriously just stepping in the house. And I blew up. How do I clean if I can't be at home? He had me out running him around all weekend so he could get out for awhile. And the topper is that I couldn't empty the sink cause He needed to run the dishwasher. I could run it but he says He wants to do it. I had Mt. Washmore to tackle because he wanted to do his laundry. So last night I just jumped in and did it. And this morning I asked him about the dishwasher since I did laundry last night. (Can't run both at the same time) I actually had him do it right then so he wouldn't forget and I can get the house back on track. Hopefully he will fold and put his laundry away while I am at work. I would do it for him but he doesn't like that. It makes him feel helpless. So hopefully things will improve. I also dropped out of school. I can't juggle it all. I want to but 3 fulltime positions are just too much for me. I can't live with the anxiety attacks I am having. Thanks for letting me vent.
Ellie
